How to develop more empathy

I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. Your willingness to open yourself up to new ideas that can build empathy is truly beautiful and in my opinion, the way we will heal the world. 

So what is empathy? 

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. 

We all want to be understood, it is a basic human need that we all share. We want to be seen, heard, felt, and to know that others care. Empathy is a way that we feel connected with others. Extending empathy therefore, is one of the greatest of all gifts we can bestow. 

Right now we are living through a challenging time. We have seen the effects of a lack of empathy, for people with differing political views, the deforestation and destruction of the environment, cruelty shown to animals, cancel culture, and between people with different faiths, sexual orientations, races, and the list goes on. It is so often highlighted in the news and there seems to be an egoic energy that seeks to be superior. There is a lack of understanding in many situations but I believe that empathy is the path forward.

Empathy is an act of love, it’s not just being able to wear someone else shoes but to go further and be able to step outside yourself completely. Removing all judgement and just feeling, listening and being as if you are the person you are empathizing with.

Some key ways to build empathy are- 

Spend time helping others 

It’s very powerful when we step outside our own lives, away from our own problems, and give back to others. It is a profound way that we can better understand the challenges others face. We then get to be of service and to feel good knowing we helped someone. Often when we come back from helping another, we feel deeply connected with them. It gives us a greater sense of purpose and even more gratitude for our lives. 

Read fiction 

Researchers have found that reading fictional narratives increases our levels of empathy. A fancy term for this is narrative transportation theory which means that as we enjoy reading about someone’s journey who may have different views, beliefs, characteristics, likes and dislikes than us we gain insights and greater understanding for others who may take similar actions or have those beliefs. 

Become a great listener 

Unfortunately, there isn’t enough praise for great listeners. There aren’t any awards for great listening skills that I am aware of but becoming an excellent listener has the power to change your life more than almost anything. Not only do we learn a lot more from listening but we gain deeper connections with others. When we actively listen, we think about the emotions behind what is being said or not said because silence can also speak volumes. Giving feedback by repeating what is being communicated and asking good questions that let the speaker know we are listening closely also helps to build connection as we feel our way through the conversation together. 

Compassion mediations 

This is when we focus our thoughts on the wellbeing of others, it can be for those we know or others we will never know. We can spend time sending positive energy to groups of people, to animals and nature, or to the entire world. Opening your heart to the energy of unconditional love is a great way to experience compassion. This can have tremendous benefits when it comes to strengthening our empathy muscles.

Learn about the struggles of others

As we learn about what others have got through in the past we can feel strong emotions flow through us. If we imagine in detail going through the experiences others before us have lived through we can connect to the well of emotions within us. The more comfortable we get at feeling emotions and being open to sharing them with those we love, the more others will feel safe in our presence to open up and share their experiences with us. 

One last thing, empathy creates more of itself. So try creating an empathy practice. You can bring it into your meditations, through helping those less fortunate, by asking “What must that person be going through?” Whenever you’re tempted to judge someone, or become more aware of how others are feeling around you. 

I will be thinking about everyone who will read this post and I am sending love across space and time directly to you.