Connecting with Yourself

We spend so much of our lives trying to connect with others but often so little time connecting with ourselves. We dream of meeting the right partner who will understand us, and we work hard to form meaningful friendships, but we often don’t spend nearly as much energy on ourselves.

            Sometimes we fill our lives with so much work and low-level connections with others (small talk, comments, and "likes" on social media), that we neglect ourselves. Instead of waiting for someone else to care enough to ask us how we are doing, why don’t we ask ourselves? Here are some great tips that will help you get in touch with yourself and find the rewarding benefits of connecting deeply within.

“How am I feeling right now?”

            Take a moment to ask yourself this question. If you find yourself not feeling good or feeling tense, focus your attention on that spot. Breathe in deeply with your eyes closed. Picture white, healing energy rushing into the part of your body that’s causing you discomfort. Breathe out, releasing the tension.

            If you find yourself feeling down, don’t run from these feelings or try to cover them. Allow them to just be and look for the source of your pain. Then ask yourself, “What good can I take from this situation?” and “What can I learn from this?”

Journaling

            This is a great way to get in touch with yourself. Your journal is not meant to be an award-winning novel. It’s for you alone!  Allow yourself to just throw everything out of your head and onto the page. It might be messy, and that’s fine. Some of your thoughts might be brilliant words you’d love to share with the world, but odds are they will just be thoughts, feelings, and situations that you just need to release.

            Try not to judge what you write here. Just let your mind get the thoughts and feelings out on the paper. Afterwards, you can decide whether or not you would like to keep the thoughts or lose them. Some thoughts are helpful and nice to reflect on, while others aren’t. Decide what to keep and what to throw out of your mind and out of your life, because you are not your thoughts! The sooner the mind-chatter is out of your head and onto the paper, the sooner you can feel the quiet presence of your beautiful, loving self.

Do something that puts you at ease

            Ask yourself, “What could I do right now that would bring me some peace?” For instance, I went on a walk in the woods by myself yesterday. I found a fallen tree to sit on and started reading a new book. After a very stressful day, it was so nice to just be with my thoughts, let them go, and emerge from the woods completely renewed.

            Some other examples of things you might do would be: paint a picture or color in a coloring book (they aren’t just for kids). Focus on a relaxing feeling, not on creating something perfect. Go for a run or do some other form of cardio if that helps you clear your mind and be at ease. Sit in a calming spot with your drink of choice (non-alcoholic is best!) or maybe do some yoga. Spend time with a pet! Animals are so good at putting us at ease because they live their lives in the moment and bring us more deeply into the present, which embraces what is.

Do some positive affirmations

            Positive affirmations can be the mirror affirmations we discussed in a previous chapter, or you can create custom affirmations for yourself that lift your spirits and help you stay positive and on track toward gaining the desires of your heart. Say your affirmations with deep love and belief, and watch the negative thoughts drift away. Here are several affirmations I think will strengthen your bond with yourself:

“I accept and love myself exactly as I am right now.”

“I know that a great power dwells within me, and I can conquer anything.”

“I radiate love and find it all around me.”

“I am grateful for (you can insert anything here). Thank you.”

            Your thoughts are incredibly powerful, and you can transform your life by choosing to think good ones. Remember, positivity attracts more positivity. Become what you wish to attract!

Meditation

            For most people, the thought of sitting somewhere peacefully without thoughts makes the mind go NUTS! They think it sounds so horrible and boring—but that’s your mind telling you this. Many of the happiest people on earth have found meditation to be deeply rewarding. While it can be very challenging at first, don’t be too hard on yourself. Thoughts will come into your mind, but the trick is to notice the thoughts and let them go without letting them affect you. When you're first starting out, just try to meditate for a few minutes. With practice, you'll be able to stay in that peaceful state for a much longer time.

            Meditation is something you can do on your own or in a group. Personally, I find it best to do it by myself in a quiet place, with my phone on silent mode and some peaceful music playing softly in the background. It’s best to be in a space with as little distraction as possible to keep your mind from wandering. The point is to reset your ever-spinning mind. A good way to think of meditation is to think back to a time when you dazed off looking off into space—thinking of nothing in particular!

            When we are in touch with ourselves on a deep, spiritual level, we are better equipped to get what we want out of other areas of our life. We no longer settle for low-level connections and energy-draining distractions because we know ourselves and what we desire. The relationship you build when you connect with yourself can be so nourishing and rewarding, that it will ensure that you bring your whole self to the meaningful relationships you have in the future.