Ego VS Essence

Setting Goals That Serve the Soul AKA Soul Goals.

In today’s achievement-driven culture, goal-setting is often centered wealth and outward status. It’s easy to get caught in the cycle of chasing achievements that might impress others but leave us feeling disconnected or unfulfilled. Many of us have experienced the frustration of reaching a milestone only to find it didn’t bring the happiness or peace we expected. Life coaching centered on fulfillment offers a way to reframe this process, helping people create goals aligned with their highest selves—goals that not only uplift them but also benefit others and the world at large.

Here’s how to ensure your goals aren’t ego-driven but instead foster genuine growth, purpose, and contribution.

Recognize the Difference Between Ego and Essence

The ego is often rooted in fear, comparison, and the need for external validation. Ego-driven goals may revolve around outshining others, proving your worth, or meeting societal expectations. These goals tend to leave you exhausted and disconnected from who you truly are.

On the other hand, goals driven by your essence—the core of who you are—arise from love, creativity, and a desire to serve. When your goals reflect your highest values, they feel expansive and energizing. You aren’t focused on competition or approval but on living authentically and making a meaningful impact.

Questions to reflect on if you have set goals:

• Am I pursuing this goal because it excites and fulfills me, or because I want to prove something to others?

• Does this goal align with the person I want to become?

• Who benefits from this goal? Does it uplift others as well as myself?

Shift from ‘What Can I Get?’ to ‘What Can I Give?’

Many people set goals centered around accumulation: earning a certain amount of money, buying a dream house, or achieving fame. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with these aspirations, they can become limiting if they’re solely about personal gain.

True fulfillment often comes from contributing to others. Soulful and skillful life coaching encourages a shift in focus from “What can I get out of life?” to “What can contribute that will benefit all?” When you set goals with a mindset of service, you tap into a powerful flow of energy, abundance, and joy. Surprisingly, the more you give, the more you often receive in return.

Examine Your Intentions

Your “why” behind a goal is just as important as the goal itself. Egoic intentions might sound like:

• “I want this promotion so people will respect me.”

• “I need to lose weight to look better than other people.”

On the other hand, goals rooted in a higher intention might be:

• “I want this promotion so I can lead this company to greater prosperity and make teammates feel safe and seen.”

• “I want to improve my health so I can have more energy to give to my family.”

Life coaches often guide clients to uncover deeper motivations by asking powerful questions that challenge surface-level thinking. When your intentions are pure and authentic, the path to your goals often unfolds with greater ease.

Stay Accountable to Your Higher Self

One of the most valuable aspects of life coaching is accountability. A great coach helps you stay aligned with your highest self, especially when egoic fears and doubts arise. They offer support, reflection, and tools to keep you on track without judgment.

In addition to working with a coach, you can create personal accountability practices. These might include:

• Journaling about your progress and lessons learned.

• Meditating to reconnect with your purpose.

• Checking in with a trusted friend or mentor who understands your vision.

Want to know if your goals align with ego or essence? Reach out- Kaden@KadenJames.com