Magnetic vs. Electric Energy: How Do You Want to Show Up in the World?

There is a version of you that does not need to force, chase, shrink, perform, or prove. There is a version of you that knows exactly how they want to enter a room, how they want to be felt, how they want to lead, love, create, speak, receive, and move through the world.

That version of you is not somewhere far outside of reach. It is already within you. But sometimes, one part of your energy has been overused, over-performed, or overprotected for so long that another part of you has been left underdeveloped. This is where the greatest opportunity lives and where the work begins.

In my coaching, I often talk about two core energetic expressions: magnetic energy and electric energy.

These energies influence how you show up in your relationships, your career, your work, your creativity, your confidence, your body, your leadership, your dating life, sex life, your self-expression, and your ability to receive what you desire. Basically, it’s a big deal that few people even stop to notice.

And the most powerful thing about the energy them is this: you are not stuck with it. You can learn to access both and use them to propel and pull the right things into and out of your life. You can strengthen the energy that does not come as naturally to you. You can learn how to consciously choose the energy you bring into any room, relationship, conversation, or opportunity and get the results you desire and the connection we all want.

What Magnetic and Electric Energy Are Not

Before we define magnetic and electric energy, it is important to talk about what they are not.

Magnetic and electric energy are not limited by gender, sexuality, or identity. They are not about who you “should” be based on what society, family, religion, culture, or old conditioning told you. All genders can possess any range, blend, or expression of these energies. I have felt pressure to be more electric in the past but it wasn’t my natural state in relationships.

A man can be deeply magnetic. A woman can be powerfully electric. A nonbinary person can flow between both. A gay man can be soft, bold, grounded, radiant, sensual, commanding, nurturing, ambitious, creative, and direct all at once. Any of us can and most do have all these energies within us so it’s more about learning to use them at the right times.

Nothing about your identity disqualifies you from accessing the full spectrum of your energy.

These energies also fluctuate. You may show up one way at work, another way in dating, another way with family, another way in friendship, and another way when you are alone with yourself. That does not mean you are inconsistent. It means you are complex. It means different parts of you have learned how to survive. Often I work with people holding and maintaining an energy that doesn’t help them anymore. They might shrink and keep their feelings under wrap because it helped them avoid conflicts with an overbearing parent. This could be why they now show up to work shy and reserved when what would serve them most would be to become more outwardly expressive.

The question is not, “Which one am I allowed to be?” The question is: how do I want to show up?

What Is Magnetic Energy?

Magnetic energy is the energy of attraction. It draws in. It receives. It creates. It flows- when was the last time you felt that beautiful state of flow? It was good right? It does not need to shout to be felt, chase to be chosen, or prove its value to become visible. It simply is and draws more to it from this powerful point of attraction.

Magnetic energy gains attention through presence, creativity, ease, embodiment, and like Nikola Tesla would say- frequency. It is the person who walks into a room and does not have to dominate the room to become one of the most interesting people in it. It is the artist creating from truth. It is the lover who allows themselves to be desired. It is the leader who can hold space without controlling everything.

When someone is in their magnetic energy, opportunities can seem to line up divinely. The right person reaches out. The right idea pops in at the perfect time. The right invitation comes through and feels meant to be and effortless. Not because they are doing nothing, but because they are no longer leaking energy through force, fear, or self-abandonment.

They are creating from their highest frequency. They are listening and allowing. They are becoming the kind of person that aligned opportunities can recognize.

Magnetic energy says: I do not need to chase what is meant to meet me. I become the frequency of what I desire, and I let life respond. -take this mantra or create one for you.

For me, magnetic energy has always felt natural. I enjoy when good things align. I love when I can draw in the right people, ideas, opportunities, and creative inspiration. This energy has helped me write, create music (some of it worldly successful but all of it freeing) , build deeper relationships, and become more emotionally available.

But like every energy, magnetic energy has a shadow side.

The Shadow Side of Magnetic Energy

Magnetic energy, when imbalanced, can become passive. Have you been there? Where instead of taking aligned action and receiving, you may start waiting. Instead of trusting, you may start avoiding and running away from the bills fast. Instead of flowing honestly, you may become vague and dillute you message out of fear.

I first realized I was in the shadow side of my magnetic energy after I had been cheated on. I showed up to work an emotional mess and ended up talking to a new coworker, unloading everything I was feeling. She did become a dear friend, but in that moment I realized I was gushing emotionally without grounding myself. I was letting the pain pour out of me, but I was not yet taking responsibility for how I wanted to move through it. I was leaking my energy instead of reclaiming it- and in that moment it was understandable because I’m human.

That moment showed me something important. I could sit back, wait for things to change, and feel hopeless when they did not. Or I could claim more of my electric energy, set the firm boundary and gain respect.

That time in my life was a turning point.

I realized that being magnetic did not mean waiting forever for the “right time.” Sometimes the right time never magically arrives. Sometimes the right time is created when you decide to shift energy to help you move on- metaphorically and literally.

This is how we become instrumental in our own healing.

Magnetic energy is not weakness, but without electric energy, it can become ungrounded. It can become a dream with no movement, a vision with no structure, a desire with no decision.

What Is Electric Energy?

Electric energy is the energy of action. Like I said it moves with strength. It initiates. It speaks. It leads. It hits like lightning.

Electric energy is bold, charismatic, direct, expressive, and alive. It is the person who extends their hand first. It is the person who introduces themselves without waiting to be invited. It is the person who says what they mean, asks for what they want, and moves toward the life they desire.

Electric energy does not sit around waiting for permission. It creates momentum. It makes the call, sends the message, pitches the idea, starts the conversation, says yes, says no, and chooses.

When someone is in their electric energy, they often feel clear, focused, confident, decisive, and ready. They are not afraid to be seen. They are not afraid to take up space. They are not afraid to let their desire become visible.

Electric energy says: I am here. I am ready. I am moving. I am choosing.

For me, strengthening my electric energy changed everything. I became a BOSS. Electric energy helped me become more grounded, more practical, more direct, and more bold. It helped me ask for what I wanted, then allowed me to make deals, take action, and move even when there was a lot of uncertainty- in the beginning it was ROUGH. But now I help people through this and it helps that I have not only created this work but lived it.

It helped me secure my first $8,000 client and then many $10,000+ clients. It helped me speak to top executives at billion-dollar companies with ease because I knew the value I brought and I knew how to take action from that value.

That did not happen by accident. That happened because I stopped waiting to be discovered and started knocking on doors.

Someone once told me, “If everyone at the bar waits around to be approached, no one ever will.” That stayed with me. Sometimes it helps to just take the action and figure out the rest later.

The Shadow Side of Electric Energy

Electric energy is powerful, but when it becomes imbalanced, it can turn into being too forceful or pushy. Instead of leading, you may start controlling. Instead of expressing, you may start overpowering. Instead of being confident, you may become performative.

This is especially common in a world that rewards productivity, dominance, certainty, and constant output. Many people learn to overuse electric energy because society applauds it. Workplaces often reward the person who speaks the loudest, moves the fastest, responds the quickest, produces the most, and appears the most certain - even if their work is subpar and they are full of it.

Electric energy is not bad. But without magnetic energy, it can become exhausting. It can become action without alignment, power without softness, success without fulfillment, and movement without meaning.

As a gay man, I felt extreme pressure to present as a more electric force in the world at a young age. I was more creative and went inward because I didn’t have a lot of external validation or support unless I was being performative. I felt pressure to be confident, strong, successful, desirable, smart, polite, sporty, polished, and in control. This caused me to feel not good enough when it didn’t come naturally. I know now that I was good enough from a soul level and we all are.

Over time, though, I realized electric energy does not have to be a performance. When it is rooted in self-respect, it becomes choice. It becomes the ability to say, “I am in charge of me. I am in charge of how I respond. I am allowed to move, speak, ask, lead, and choose my path forward. the energies are a lot of fun when developed and used for the benefit of everyone around you.

You Already Probably Use Both Energies

You are already moving between magnetic and electric energy, whether you realize it or not.

You may be more electric in your career but magnetic in your relationships. You may be more magnetic in your creativity but electric in conflict. You may be electric when you are protecting yourself but magnetic when you feel safe. You may be magnetic when dating but electric when leading a project. You may be electric with strangers but magnetic with people you love. It can get confusing to know what we want to be because we have been so conditioned for so long into certain energetic roles. As we continue with this have that in the back of your mind.

I know for myself that my magnetic energy helped me survive and adapt. Growing up, I was in a home with a lot of electric energy that could be loud and explosive at times. At times I matched the energy, mimicing what I saw but that backfired. You don’t want to be around two or more people in the shadow side it can get so electric and stormy that people get reall burned. So I learned to retreat inward. I became more creatively expressive because it gave me an outlet that would not get me into trouble with. I wrote out how I felt. My magnetic energy helped me keep the peace. It helped me observe, feel deeply, imagine more, and create.

But eventually, the same energy that protected me also started limiting me. It made me more likely to wait, retreat, or hope things would change instead of taking action. If you can relate, it’s probably because a lot of this comes from our fear, we might have been hurt by negatively charged electric people in our lives. I had to reclaim the part of me that could trust the strong electric energy that I craved in my life.

This is why awareness matters. Once you understand how you are showing up, you can stop operating on autopilot. You can begin to ask:Is this my truth, or is this my conditioning?

Am I being electric because I feel powerful, or because I feel unsafe unless I am in control? Am I being magnetic because I feel open, or because I am afraid to initiate? Am I leading from choice, or from habit?

That is where transformation begins.

The Power of Knowing Your Dominant Energy

When you know your dominant energetic style, you begin to understand your strengths. You also begin to understand your patterns.

If you naturally lead with magnetic energy, your gifts may include creativity, intuition, emotional depth, beauty, presence, sensuality, imagination, and the ability to attract people, ideas, and opportunities. Your growth edge may be directness, structure, initiation, discipline, boundaries, and action (which just reading might make a deeply magnetic person start to sweat).

If you naturally lead with electric energy, your gifts may include confidence, leadership, communication, action, charisma, decisiveness, ambition, and momentum. Your growth edge may be softness, receptivity, patience, intuition, emotional presence, surrender, and allowing (which makes a lot of deeply electric people grimace just thinking about).

Neither is better. Neither is higher. Neither is more spiritual. Neither is more powerful.

The goal is not to abandon your dominant energy. The goal is to become whole enough to access both, because your non-dominant energy may be the exact key that unlocks the next level of your life.

Where Are You Leading From?

To begin uncovering your dominant energy, take a moment to answer these questions honestly. Do not answer from who you think you should be. Answer from how you actually show up- seriously no one will see this but you and it’s for your benefit.

When you walk into a room, do you usually initiate or observe? Do you introduce yourself, start conversations, and move toward people, or do you feel into the room, notice the energy, and allow people to come toward you?

When you want something, do you chase it or attract it? Do you take immediate action, make a plan, and pursue, or do you visualize, align, create, and trust the right opening to appear?

In relationships, do you tend to lead or receive? Are you usually the one directing the conversation, defining the relationship, planning the next step, or making the first move? Or are you more comfortable being pursued, invited, felt, and chosen?

Now ask yourself which energy your answer comes from - is it the magnetic -receptive oriented side or the electric -action oriented side.

Your awareness is here to reveal.

What Your Non-Dominant Energy Can Teach You

Once you know your dominant style, I recommend experimenting with your non-dominant energy. Not because who you are is wrong, and not because you need to become someone else, but because your next level may require a part of you that you have not fully developed yet. Or you can bring others in that can naturally provide the gifts of that energy to you but still, it’s good to know you have the ability within you.

If you are naturally magnetic, your electric energy may teach you how to speak up, make a move, set a boundary, ask for more, declare your desire, and take action before you feel completely ready. It may teach you that being powerful does not make you less lovable. It may teach you that choosing is just as sacred as receiving.

If you are naturally electric, your magnetic energy may teach you how to soften, listen, allow, create, receive, trust, and stop forcing what wants to unfold. It may teach you that rest is not weakness. It may teach you that being desired does not require performance. It may teach you that your presence can be more powerful than your productivity.

Your non-dominant energy is not your enemy. It is your expansion. It is the room in your life you have not fully walked into yet.

I like using all energies in life, but different degrees at different times. In my personal life, I have decided that I do not always want to lead with the electric, competitive, tough, strong energy. Sometimes I want to drop the walls. I want to let my friends and the people I date in. I want to feel, allow, soften, and be present. Less thinking. More being. More enjoying.

That is also power.

Choosing How You Want to Show Up

The real power is choice.

Not being magnetic because you are afraid to act. Not being electric because you are afraid to be still. Not performing softness. Not performing strength. Not living from the version of you that was shaped by rejection, shame, fear, survival, or old expectations.

But choosing.

Choosing the energy that serves the moment. Choosing how you want to enter the room. Choosing how you want to express your truth. Choosing how you want to love. Choosing how you want to lead. Choosing how you want to create. Choosing how you want to be felt…. I know you get the point.

This is what it means to become energetically integrated. It means you are no longer trapped inside one expression of yourself. You have greater range and full access. And we love having options right?

You are not only the lightning. You are also the field that calls it in. You are not only the magnet. You are also the current that moves the world.

So many people are trying to unlock their full potential while only using half of their accessible energy. They are trying to build a big life with a limited self-concept. They are trying to attract love while hiding their desire. They are trying to lead while disconnecting from their softness. They are trying to receive while refusing to choose. They are trying to become powerful while rejecting the very parts of themselves that hold their power.

Your full potential does not come from becoming more one-dimensional. It comes from becoming more fully expressed, alive, and YOU.

The more you strengthen your non-dominant energy, the more freedom you have. You no longer have to react from old patterns. You can respond from power. You can decide, in each moment: Do I want to be magnetic here? Do I want to be electric here? Do I want to attract, receive, and allow? Do I want to initiate, speak, and move?

The most successful people I know and have worked with have these abilities. They get the best out of others at work by learning what energy is needed for each project and meeting they go into. They often end up with the love they desire by being clear about the energy they want to come home to.

And when both energies are available to you, life becomes less about proving yourself and more about expressing yourself. That is where miracles just flow. Not because you are controlling everything. Not because you are waiting for everything. But because you are finally in conscious relationship with your own energy.

A Practice for This Week

Choose one area of your life where you feel stuck. Maybe it is dating, work, money, creativity, your body, your confidence, or your relationships.

Ask yourself: What energy have I been leading with here?

Have I been forcing, pushing, proving, and over-functioning? Or have I been waiting, avoiding, fantasizing, and under-choosing?

Then ask: What would my non-dominant energy do next?

If you usually wait, initiate. If you usually force, allow. If you usually hide, speak. If you usually perform, soften. If you usually chase, become. If you usually dream, decide.

Do not try to overhaul your entire life overnight. Just practice a few new energetic choices. Send the message. Take the breath. Say the truth. Receive the compliment. Make the ask. Take the rest. Set the boundary. Let yourself be seen. Let yourself be felt. You deserve to grow into the most fully expressed full version of you.

That one choice may reveal a part of you that has been waiting to come alive.

If you are ready to fully understand your dominant energy, strengthen your non-dominant side, and become more fully expressed in every area of your life, this is the work I do with clients. Through Spirlit Life Coaching, we uncover the patterns that have shaped how you show up, identify the energy you naturally lead with, and strengthen the parts of you that are ready to come forward.

Because your next level is not about becoming someone else. It is about becoming more of who you already are.

Book a coaching session with me, Kaden James and let’s uncover how you are meant to show up next.