5 Signs Your Relationship With Money Needs Work
If your relationship with money feels like an “It’s complicated” situation I am here to help you through it. You see most of us are really happy when money arrives but hate to see it leave. We can become controlling over it, even gripping it so tightly that we block the flow and don’t even see the other opportunities for even more.
Do any of these sound like you?
- You avoid looking at your bank account or debts because it feels overwhelming or scary.
- You spend to enhance your mood or regulate your feelings. It might look like treating yourself but it’s really a trick- a nasty game of treat then trick.
- You feel guilt or shame after making purchases and feel a bit helpless and powerless around money.
- Find it really difficult to save money and always seem to dip into the savings. There’s little structure in place.
- Big financial decisions often feel a bit impulsive. You might ride the emotion when it comes to buying a car, renting a nice apartment or buying an expensive outfit because it felt right in the moment.
Imagine for a moment that you are in a relationship with money. Pretend it’s an intimate relationship. One that brings up a lot of feelings and emotions and might even trigger you just like a romantic one often does.
Think about some of the feelings you have around money… Does the relationship feel healthy? Is it negative or positive? Was it different at different times of your life? What words would you use to describe your current relationship with money?
If you are feeling good about it, great. Carry on and enjoy reading this to enhance the good feelings even more.
If you are feeling neutral or bad about the relationship you’re in with money, I am here to help. If the words that come up feel heavy… Say them to yourself or better yet write them out like you are writing a letter to your therapist about the relationship. An example could be-
I’m mad at money for not being there when I need it most. I am sick of always having a bill come up when it arrives. I am tired of chasing it to exhaustion. I’m feeling overworked and underpaid. It’s so hard to save. I feel like I am so needy for money and it’s a battle to heal the mental blocks that come up. I even dislike writing about wanting it now.
If any of that letter hit home you might be thinking our relationships with money are complicated and draining. You would be right, most people I meet and work with in coaching have at least some of these beliefs and feelings about money. Even the wealthy often feel that the money is never enough and they endlessly seem to desire more.
Do you think a healthy partner would want to date someone who spoke about them and craved them in this way? My guess is no.
So now we are going to reset ourselves and align to a desirable energy that is welcoming and lovingly attracting money in.
LET’S BREATHE!
I’m serious, take a deep breath in. Shake out the sticky and stinky energy around money out. Let it be released.
Take another breath in, filling your lungs even more. Hold at the top and release.
It’s time to appreciate money, so that it will want to come into your life and stick around. Let’s create a safe space for money to rest in our lives and offer us more security and peace. This is what healthy relationships do, they encourage, they help us grow and support us along the journey.
So it’s time we rewrite the script by focusing on abundance-
Think of all the meals you have had this year that money paid for.
Think of all the car rides you went on that took money for charges or gasoline.
Think of all the clothes you got to wear that money provided you with- all this warmth and comfort.
Think of the bed you slept in that was purchased at one time in the store and the mattress and the bedding.
Think of the shelter that you get to dwell in and the cost of this that money provided you with.
Think of the shoes upon your feet and the sandals.
Think of the warm water for bathing and washing your hands.
Money has been there for us and all around us all along…
You get the picture. There is so much that money grands us. So much we can appreciate and so much we get to enjoy even if we don’t see it as dollars entering into our hands. There's still wealth and abundance all around us.
What we appreciate, appreciates in our life.
Notice the money entering in and say thank you every time you notice it coming in.
If you want to really drive this home deeply and I would HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT! Write down the abundance coming in this week. List it out and add it up at the end of the week and you might be shocked by how much you never noticed that is always coming in.
Next, get serious about a plan. There are many great advisors that can help you automate your savings and spending, budgeting apps and podcasts and books. Find one that is reputable and take in the advice of someone who has and has helped a lot of people achieve the financial success you want. I am not a financial expert, I am simply someone who has learned about my own relationships with money and helped others uncover things about their patterns and helped them change their mindset around money and then get a plan in place that involves expert advice and counsel. Through this we have learned to pay down and pay off debts, invest wisely and create a better financial future for ourselves and those we love.